i have been reluctant to tell anyone this so i'll write about it instead. it's cowardice of me really because i'm just scared of the advice you might give me. most of you are too lazy to register to leave a comment so this is my safe way of releasing the news.
Last week Francois, my favorite choreographer at Wesley, pulled me into the hallway after class. He handed me a sheet of paper and asked me to audition for his company (Streaming Dance Theatre) on saturday.
now let me just tell you a blurp about this man. I have put together from his here and there comments about his career that he is the real deal, famous in the dance world if you will. He was the choreographer/dance captain for Broadway's Lion King!, he was touring london as a dancer at age 15, was in cirque du soleil, has worked on productions for Warner bros, and Fox and is currently shooting a TV pilot that he produced himself. He is nearing 40's dances like a 20 year old and if he asked me out id probably say yes. sooo honored and shocked I happily told him i would be there without really thinking about it. I never considered dancing professionally because in America the competition is rediculous- also it's not why I think God gave me this gift. But as a dancer- you dont turn down an audition.
i also never considered staying in Sydney ... until now.
i went into the audition thinking it would just be a good experience and if nothing else it would be 4 more hours that i get to dance.It was a great first audition because i knew the producer, Francois, and i also knew Graham the artistic director because he performed with me at the Opera House. I looked around at the nervous faces and the fear they had whenever Graham or Francois gave them corrections. It was so nice to have known them beforehand. Anyway, i left feeling pretty good about how i danced but more so just to get my first audition for a company under my belt was satisfying.
this tuesday, Francois informed me that I was accepted into the company. i smiled and acted completely ecstatic when he told me the rehearsal schedule, when our tour would start, and contract details of pay.
and then i went home and cried. this could change everything.
every disney movie and pop song , even Eminem will tell you that you have one shot, and to "chase your dream"
it just does not make sense for me to turn down a position in a company to return to school... for dance.
i decided to tell my sister and her reaction was "Tiff! you dont have a dog, you dont have a son, you dont even have a hamster, but you do have a dream! so go for it"
but is it my dream? or is it the world's dream for me?
what if this dream cost me relationships, family, identity?
my worst fear of this trip actaully came true- i told Nick before i left that i was scared i was going return wanting to be or do something completely different, like be a teacher. well im not going into education- but this is totally rockin my plan for the future.
i boarded the plane in LAX so certain of who i was, who i wanted to become, and how to get there.
the only thing i am certain of now is that girl was naive. and i still have so much to learn.
i cant even tell you what country i will be living in come april.
but with uncertainty comes trust. it grows our faith and illuminates the things we can be certain of. I know that like a potter- the father never takes his hands off me, that this is all going according to a plan i cant see, and whether i live here or there - If i remain in Him - He will be glorified.
