the term blogging still surfaces middle school memories for me. myspace, flares, braces. But i thought my life finally got interesting enough where my friends and family would want to keep up with it. also this is so i dont have to tell the same story 12 times

if you're reading this, you probably know me well enough to know my middle name and can laugh at my attempt to embrace it .

...and then i will speak tenderly to her

I woke up on saturday excited to see the sun out again, so i did a little facebooking with coffee outside. pictures were up of the wedding i was supposed to be at. I was so happy to see my long time friend smiling beautifully in her dress with others that i had grown up with but it also sucked miserably. i wanted to share that with her, with them.


and then i saw my dance teacher's status about Michael McCray passing away. its one of those things you dont believe until you hear it or see it at least 5 times. i cried on my porch for who knows how long on a perfectly beautiful Sydney day. part of me wanted to book a flight home, part of me was relieved i couldn't feel the weight of it all. i take comfort in that he is finally in a place where sickness does not hinder his dancing. i am so blessed to have known him and to have been a part of his choreography. he always helped me put things in perspective and probably was one of the most honest people i knew.


im continents away. missing out on both the beautiful and horrible parts of life. which reminded me of the book of Hosea. God uses it as a metaphor for Isreal's unfaithfulness. He strips her of everything she placed value in, everything she took comfort in. and brings her to a place where she has nothing ... but the one who remains faithful.


Therefore I am now going to allure her;

I will lead her into the desert

and speak tenderly to her. - Hosea 2


maybe this is my desert.

city nights and simple days

when i was about 6 i wrote down my goals in life. they were something along the lines of 1.get rich 2. get a husband 3. go to new york. for some reason i've seen myself as someone made for city life. there was something incredibly appealing about a fast paced, career driven, i need a double soy latte right now lifestyle. I can't really say that is where i stand now. Last night we went into the city to go dancing and check out the bars that we've been eyeing on the harbour since arrival. It was fun for about 15 minutes. and mostly because we were let into the VIP section of Cargo which is a beautiful club/lounge on the water. cocktails were SEVENTEEN DOLLARS. and most of these places are just full of people wanting to hook up. even though the men were suited and polished and the girls looked like runway models. we're all pretty savage in our desires, no matter how put together we can appear. I won't say i did not have a good time though, Sydney is beautiful at night. We ventured to the Rocks to check out the pubs and it was like going from NYC to Ireland. very different, but very fun.

the trains and buses stop running after midnight so we caught a "night rider/drunk bus" home at 3 am. it was raining at this point, we walked home in blisters , wet hair, and empty pockets.


This morning I woke too early to go to Hillsong Church for my service placement. yes its the church where 90% of fabulous worship songs are written. i was picked up by a guy from Jupiter , Florida. I met two people from South Carolina. most of the people i have met there are american. its weird. but it was refreshing to say the least. I've had two experiences with this church so far, a young adult service and a serving opportunity. and i can already see that this community is full of people who are hungry for God, there is a "im not perfect, you're not perfect, let's get to know the one who is together" tone to their spirit.


As part of the Hillsong Street Team, we visit people in the neighborhood who live in government housing and do whatever they wish, whether its to clean their windows or just sit and have tea with them. this morning I sat with a Russian man named Joseph. He was well into his seventies and spoke very little english. His flat had an eclectic collection from his life which distracted you from the dirt and grime. but he served us tea in the finest china. he told stories of his dead wife and children, how he swam in ice to heal his back, and what it was like to live under the Soviet union. he fed us cake and the best dark chocolate i've ever tasted.


God may have come up once. but we weren't there to evangelize, or to tell him about the fabulous church in walking distance of his door. we just wanted to be with him so we did. We also visited Betty and listened to her talk about Farmville for a 1/2 hour- we vacuumed too.


i came home and did laundry because the sun was out. they dont use dryers here because well, they dont need them. do we?

i hung my clothes on the line and as the wind blew through my hair and white dress i wondered why the hell dont we do this. and how similar my life was to a downy commercial. then i napped in a hammock under the shade of a Sycamore.


i decided that i love the city, as long as i can come home and hang my clothes on a line in a big yard and nap under a tree