I woke up on saturday excited to see the sun out again, so i did a little facebooking with coffee outside. pictures were up of the wedding i was supposed to be at. I was so happy to see my long time friend smiling beautifully in her dress with others that i had grown up with but it also sucked miserably. i wanted to share that with her, with them.
and then i saw my dance teacher's status about Michael McCray passing away. its one of those things you dont believe until you hear it or see it at least 5 times. i cried on my porch for who knows how long on a perfectly beautiful Sydney day. part of me wanted to book a flight home, part of me was relieved i couldn't feel the weight of it all. i take comfort in that he is finally in a place where sickness does not hinder his dancing. i am so blessed to have known him and to have been a part of his choreography. he always helped me put things in perspective and probably was one of the most honest people i knew.
im continents away. missing out on both the beautiful and horrible parts of life. which reminded me of the book of Hosea. God uses it as a metaphor for Isreal's unfaithfulness. He strips her of everything she placed value in, everything she took comfort in. and brings her to a place where she has nothing ... but the one who remains faithful.
Therefore I am now going to allure her;
I will lead her into the desert
and speak tenderly to her. - Hosea 2
maybe this is my desert.
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