after the last day of orientation, we were finally set free from a camp-like itinerary and felt we were adults again. we decided to go to a shopping center to get a few needed items. four others and I ventured on a bus to a target that was much more like an overpriced k mart. shampoo : 20$. shitty sweat pants : 35$ . such a disappointment. anyway i started heading home bc i saw it was getting dark fast. the map made it look like a straight shot. it was- just in the opposite direction of where i thought i was. i walked up a hill, under an overpass, through a neighborhood and realizing that nothing looked familiar. I stopped in a casino bc it was well lit to look at my map. I dont have a phone at this point- nor numbers of who to call if i could even use one. I asked someone for directions and they vaguely pointed my in the other direction. I walked another 20 minutes and didnt recognize anything. it started to rain. I asked 3 more people for directions- didnt speak english. shopping bags now getting wet. map wet. i thought - what the bloody hell am i doing here? so i put my big girl pants on and acted like i wasnt lost, walked toward where i saw lights and asked a friendly man in a uniform how to get home. this is a life lesson you learn in kindergarten, and at the time i felt about that helpless. i walked along sketchy roads, it was dark so i prayed. hard. all i could hear was God saying, i will never leave nor forsake you. and that got me home. home.. still deciding where that is exactly.
i think God strips us of comforts, reliances, and constants to get us in a vulnerable state. a place where he can say, finally. . . its just me and you.
we dont even realize how much we're relying on people or things to complete us until they're taken away. and you feel like you left pieces of yourself everywhere. But we were MADE WHOLE. we are perfectly complete in Him. not him, or her, or it. in Christ.
Australia, this semester, the people, are not what i expected. I knew it would be hard- not this hard. I think we often ask for God to stretch us, to grow us and when he tries we're not willing to yield to his way of doing things. we talk but dont walk
i have growing up to do.
Remember all of the reasons you went there, and what you stand to gain from the experience. Be thankful that you have a good God you can pray to, and that he brought you back somewhere safe enough to blog about your experience. You have an opportunity many people would be envious of. Don't lose sight of that. You are loved.
ReplyDelete-'Because without the bitter, baby, the sweet ain't as sweet.'
tiff...thank you for this.
ReplyDelete