when i arrived home the other night after getting lost, i felt like i could do anything. but when it rains it pours. Nick and i ended things last night- and though i felt it coming, it sucked miserably. i again wanted to retreat to comforts. my roomates. my mom. the beach, to think. but there was also this sense of relief. Ever since I arrived in Sydney I wasn't fully present because half of me was consumed with how i was going to make this relationship work. It might hit me later but God's given me such a peace about it. I can confidently say that it was for the best. We're in two different places not just geographically but in life. Our relationship brought to light things about ourselves we need to work on and so even though it sucks, its good. in the long run- that's what i'm telling myself..
Classes started today. I was so ready to get into a schedule, which is stupid because that is why i'm here. i applied for this program to escape the normalcy and the redundant pattern of life i had at PBA. now i would do anything for predictibility , or anything familiar.
I left the house at 7:15 am for my 8:30 jazz class. it took us 45 mins to get to the bus stop and another hour on the bus before we realized we were on the wrong one. i missed my first class and made it just in time for ballet at 10:45. We had to hop another bus to take us back to Drummoyne, i stood there freezing at the bus stop, shoes soaked, wondering how i was going to get my joints warm before class so i dont injure myself.wondering why the bus was 26 minutes late. wondering ... could things get worse? maybe. when a series of horrible things happen to me i start finding the humor in it all. there are times im waiting for Ashton Kutcher to pop out of the bushes and say i just got punk'd for a week
i got to dance today. and that alone was worth the hell getting there. ballet was easy, too easy. contemplating getting pointe shoes. I can return to two loves of my life to remind myself of who i am and why im here. thats God and dance. and those are in every city, country, continent and time zone
Tiff....I am praying God gives you clarity and that you can see that each of your steps are guided by Him ...The big picture is hard to see sometimes ...but He has your back. I am continuously proud of you, your passion. I am giving you a huge hug right now ..feel it?
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